We asked them not to come to the funeral…

September 1st.

I love this time of the year.

No, I don’t want summer to be over, but I would like some sort of routine back into our lives.

It’s been a great summer with lots of visitors and more coming in September. One of the best things we did when Mikail passed away, was to request a few close friends not to come the distance to the funeral. I know, sounds harsh, right? It’s simple though. In those early days, weeks and months, our grief was so raw and we were in shock. We knew we wouldn’t be able to spend any time with them and we knew that by summer and fall, we would need people surrounding us just as much, if not more, than during those initial days after our loss. Logically life goes on and people get busy with summer activities and fun, church programs are put on hold, and we were afraid we’d really feel that emptiness intensely this summer. We were right. So, we kept the months of August and September open for a few close friends who we knew we would ‘need’ around us.

In the beginning of August, my heart friend Sunny drove up from Virginia with her kids for a few days. Between the two of us we have a lot of ‘life’ under our belts.  To tell a stranger out stories would probably leave them thinking ‘They made that up’. Ha. It would all be true though. In the past 16 years, our friendship has been without kids, so it was a whole lot different adding kiddos to the mix. We still got our favourite Dawson’s Creek episodes watched. Throwback to the 90s for sure. This was such good soul time for me.

Then we had our friends Jay and Colleen and their three kiddos come from Grande Prairie for a week. Mikail and Kiera had a very special friendship and we could tell she missed him a lot. I felt zombie-like most of the week for some reason. Grief? It was Mikail’s 7 month heaven birthday while they were here and those days and the ones that follow are often hard. Maybe it was just the cold that I was getting. Who knows, but isn’t it great to have friends who meet you where you’re at? It was so good to laugh and cry and do life together with them again. Fishing, boating, beaching, Great Wolf Lodge and Niagra Falls. Such great memories.

Now September is here and we are excited to have my parents come, as well as our ‘Grande Prairie parents/grandparents’. So much goodness.

It was the best decision to have these friends come months after the funeral. We needed them and they met us right where we were at and loved us through it all.
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1 thought on “We asked them not to come to the funeral…

  1. talenawinters

    That was wise, asking some friends to wait.I love the term \”heaven birthday.\” It is a reminder that the cause of our grief is actually a joyful transition for the one that we have lost. And that we will get to see them again when we get to our own \”heaven birthday.\”Hugs.



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