In the beginning of 2015, I decided to join in on the ‘one word’ challenge. The challenge being to lay aside any New Years Resolutions (which I never follow through on anyhow, let’s be honest) and narrow them down to a single focus. Essentially, choosing one word to meditate and reflect on. A word that will challenge me and be the mission or theme for the year. Perhaps, had I known the year we would have in front of us, I would have chosen an  easier word? (kidding of course).

The word I chose was BLESSED. I went a little further and chose a scripture that would be my scripture for the year. It hangs on the wall beside my computer.

My daily reminder:

There have been so many incredibly huge challenges for us this year and they continue to pile up. Sometimes it feels like rather than there being a rainbow in the storm, the storm just keeps on building. It has been so helpful to focus on the word BLESSED. Through it all, there are always blessings to be found. Sometimes the blessings are as tiny as ‘Thank you God for coffee.’, ‘Thank you God for sunshine’, or ‘Thank you God that Olivia slept until 7:17 instead of 6:30.” I have focused on that word a lot. It’s really helped me to stay positive when the pit of despair threatens to swallow me whole.

This past weekend I think I came as close to a crisis of faith that I have ever come to. As I lay in bed weeping, crying out ‘I can’t do this anymore’ over and over and over again, God felt so far away. I truly couldn’t see past the pain we were feeling. Yet, as the pile of kleenex grew on the floor beside my bed, God was right there. He didn’t leave me or forsake me. He was there waiting for me. I didn’t realize it until the next morning when I woke up remembering that I had fallen asleep changing the words ‘I can’t do this anymore’ to ‘God PLEASE help us.” With those words whispered over and over and over again, I fell into a peaceful sleep.

Then God gave me a wonderful gift. He used two very special women of God to bless me and love me. I was so weary of the empty, obligatory, well-meaning ‘are you okay, what can I do to help?’ phone calls, texts and emails. My heart just screamed ‘I DON’T KNOW, but do SOMETHING!! Whatever you feel you should do, DO IT!! Just don’t ask me how you can help, because I don’t know.’

God showed me that all I needed was to be loved and He “sent” two lovely ladies who are each thousands of kilometers away, to do just that. They didn’t fix anything. They didn’t ask what I needed. They just loved me and reminded me that God loves us and has a plan for our lives. They reminded me that God is good, even when things aren’t good. They reminded me that God can be trusted and that’s all that matters. They listened to all the struggles that we are dealing with and didn’t give suggestions on how to fix things, they just listened and loved and pointed me back to God.

I was drawn back to the verse I had chosen for the year:

I’ve been so focused on the word BLESSED, that the rest of the verse has kind of fallen to the wayside. Blessed is She who has BELIEVED that the LORD would fulfill HIS PROMISES to HER.
I keep reading those words and when I think about God’s promises, my mind goes blank. What were His promises again? Why can’t I remember them? My heart is so full of hurt that I’ve forgotten the promises He’s made to us. So, I went on a hunt to find five promises He has made to everyone:

Right now it all seems like I’m grasping for things, but I do know this: they ARE God’s promises and I know that He keeps them. One day soon, I hope that I will be able to say: