I sit here and stare at this page every day, knowing I want to type something. But what do I say? This post is the defining post between ‘then’ and ‘now’. Life as we knew ‘then’ is completely different than life as we know it ‘now’.

You see, three days before January 23rd, our dear son Mikail had the common cold/flu. Friday January 23rd he didn’t wake up in the morning. How does one describe finding your precious boy’s body, lifeless? How does one describe the physical ache and pain one feels in the aftermath of unexpectedly losing your first born child. The boy that was your miracle baby. The boy who was healthy and vibrant and full of life? The boy that loved people and Jesus. Our boy.

We thought we would share life’s journey with him for the rest of OUR lives. God in His infinite wisdom saw otherwise and I am not sure that we will every understand that, this side of heaven. What we do know is that Mikail loved his Jesus. We know that he is sitting at the feet of Jesus and that although we miss him so incredibly much, a thousand days on earth are a short day of much joy for him in heaven.

The autopsy showed that the cold/flu that Mikail had, masked the acute bacterial pneumonia that took his life within hours of infecting his body. There was nothing we or the doctor’s could have done differently. Even the Coroner said that had this happened to one of his children, he and his wife (also a doctor) would have done exactly what we had done and had we brought Mikail to the ER, we would have been sent home and the outcome would have been the same. If he was in our shoes, they would be burying their child. A very unfortunate lightening strike situation.

And that situation has brought us to this time. ‘Then’ and ‘now’, such very different times.