I’m really struggling these days.

We have found a basement apartment to rent and we are so grateful to be together, yet we wonder why it is that there are no potential properties for us at this point? Living in rent is soooo against everything in my being. I long to decorate and organize and make a place our own again, but in a rental space I have no desire for such. Why bother? But then again, I know we need to make wherever we are, our home. So I am torn.

 It is so hard to keep two confused and not adjusting too well, young children quiet in our basement and by 9 a.m. I am usually ready to throw in the towel. But, I can’t, so I let the tears flow in the shower and then suck it up as I get ready for the day. We pack up a snack and drinks and head to the cutest little park near by. It has a play structure the perfect size for 2-6 year olds. A sandbox, swings, picnic shelter, and a wading pool. We spend an hour or two there every morning and some afternoons too. It’s my saving grace. Truly.

 My other saving grace is that this is a small town. We know, maybe, a handful of people as acquaintances, but we are sure to run into one or more of them sometime throughout the day. And everyone is so friendly. When we go for a walk there isn’t a person that won’t say hi and most will stop to chat. I l.o.v.e. this. Today I met a lady that we met at Church last Sunday and she stopped me to invite us to Church this coming Sunday and for a BBQ afterwards. So nice. I am not used to this, coming from the hustle and bustle of a city where the focus was ‘getting ahead’. This more layed back loving life in a small town is really truly nice.

 So, there are many, many positives, but the adjustment of not having our own place, missing friends and Church family from the west, it’s hard. We knew it would be, but here I am acknowledging it. I love it here. I do. But the familiar old life is missed as we create our new life here.