Our Strength and Portion

I once asked my Mom, in tears, if she was this tired when we were all little. She laughed and said that for about eight years she thought she would never see the end of diapers and she thought she would never know what it would feel like to be rested again. The interesting thing is that I don’t remember my Mom being frustrated or tired. I remember snuggling in for many story books. I remember baking together. I remember going for walks together. I remember us all piling on the long toboggan and racing down the snow hill screaming in delight. Mom’s screams probably the loudest. I remember time spent together.

Now that I am in this mothering season of life I understand it a bit better. I am sure she was exhausted and frustrated at times. She had four little ones and I only have two little ones to take care of. She must have been doubly exhausted. The thing is, that she never showed it. She never complained.

I have wondered why.

I have wondered how.

Then I came to a realization, she got her strength from somewhere.

Sometimes it feels like we are expected to ‘do it all’. I see women around me trying to ‘do it all’ and ‘be it all’ every single day. The truth is, that is not how we are wired. God did not intend for us to be strong 24/7. If that is what was intended, would we need Him? The truth is, that in our weakness God’s light shines.

God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. When I feel exhausted beyond exhaustion I have to ask myself whether I am pouring Jesus’ light into my soul. Am I going to God for strength or am I simply filling my days with more so that I am the ‘do it all, be it all’ woman I feel I am expected to be? God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. He will give us the strength we need to get done what He intends for us to get done. For me that has meant pulling back a lot, and that has cost me in some ways, but it has given me the strength and the joy that is there for each and every one of us. It has given me the opportunity to prioritize life in the way it is meant to be. Daughter of the King, wife, Mama and everything else comes after that. And that is where the cost has come, but I know that in this season of life, my focus is on my family right now. And that is okay.

In the end, on that last day when we are at the gates of heaven, all we will have is our earthly family at our earthly side and God waiting for us at the pearly gate. So, that is where our desires should lie. Yes, it means sacrifice, but as I am learning this, I am finding that amidst the diapers and the toddler tantrums and the sleepless nights, I am okay. God is giving me the strength I need to be only that which He needs me to be in this season of life.

And it feels good.

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