I keep telling myself: Just get over it, Iris!!
I wish it were that easy. I have this inner voice that keeps telling me that I am stronger than this. I should just get over it.
Having struggled with a different form of depression before, I know in my head that you can’t just get over it magically and it has nothing to do with strength. If it has anything to do with strength it’s not that you’re weak, it’s that you’ve been trying to be strong for so long.
If you’re wondering what some signs of Post Partum Depression (PPD) are (and most of these hold true for other forms of depression as well), these are some things that come to my mind from personal experience and from becoming more educated on the subject:
You may feel:
- guilty and ready to blame yourself for everything
- exhausted and lacking in motivation
- unable to enjoy yourself
- trapped in your life
If you have PPD, you may also suffer from:
- panic attacks that cause a rapid heartbeat, sweating, sickness or fainting
- stomach pains, headaches or blurred vision
- a loss of appetite or the urge to comfort eat
- suicidal feelings
- a low sex drive
I find that, if I am not careful, a lot of negative feelings start to affect me. I find that I am anxious about things that would normally not bother me at all. I lack concentration. I forget things and making decisions? Easy ones even, have become a real challenge. And sleep? Well, I’ve written about that already. Some people can’t get to sleep, but for me it’s being disturbed by early morning wakings or nightmares and then not getting back to sleep.
If you’re struggling with any of these things. Post Partum or not, please talk to someone about it. A friend, your husband, a councilor, a healthcare provider. The faster you get on board with finding your way on the journey of better health, the faster you’ll get to the normal life you wish for. No, it’s not easy, but when is anything worth it, easy? This is worth it.
And NO, you can’t just get over it. It takes work. Hard work.
I will pray for strength and healing as you journey this road. If there is anything specific you would like me to pray for, feel free to send me an email @ firstname.lastname@example.org*hugs*Kristy
I wish some people would have read this who have said this to me. (*ahem* m*m….) Good for you for looking past this. It is not easy, it is hard work….. It's hard to work to even think about the hard work ahead of you! Hope it has helped you heal a bit to talk about it.
How long After the birth of you child is it appropriate to be called PPD? what is it after that limit?
Cynthia, from my understanding PPD occurs within the first year after the birth of a baby. Sometimes it is a bit later, depending on how long the mother nurses her baby. Often PPD is diagnosed within the first few months after birth, but sometimes it occurs later or is only diagnosed later. For example, for me it started right after I cold turkey stopped nursing Olivia because of the medications I had to take due to severe mastitis. This caused my hormones to do a whacka-do job on me. Even now when my lovely time of the month comes and hormones are a bit whacked I really struggle with the PPD. REALLY. I had my worst ever day of PPD this week and sure enough, the next day Aunt Flo showed up.In my readings I found that if there is depression after the baby is about a year old, it is considered 'regular' depression since it is not related to hormone levels anymore. (I will post more about being pro-active to prevent 'regular' depression after PPD tomorrow.) The one thing that is really important to check into is the thyroid and hormone levels. My doctor just had me go for a series of blood tests to check this all out to make sure all was okay. I also asked him to check my Vitamin B levels since low levels of this can also cause issues.The diagnosis of these things is so tricky because it is different for every person. Each person's personality and situation is different, so that makes things tricky.I hope that is helpful?!
Thanks, Kristy. That means a lot.
It's sad that often the ones closest too us, the ones we NEED the support from, just don't have an educated understanding of depression. I am hoping that perhaps writing about it and talking about it will help someone out there have a better understanding.I like how you said 'It's hard work to even think about the hard work ahead of you!' How true.Hugs to you!!